Blogging About Burls

            This weekend, I partook in the popular American past time of road-tripping. Lizzy Burl, the prodigy child of equally intelligent parents with juxtaposing accents of English and French, and I packed up the Burl family Odyssey and travelled down to Columbus. In Columbus, our plans were to visit her brother, David, at OSU, then travel to Hilliard-Bradley High School to watch our gymnastics teammate in the state tournament. As our journey began, so did the heavy droplets of water falling from the sky, haphazardly striking the windshield with an insurmountable force. Lizzy pointed out how mesmerizing these droplets were, as they defied gravity to sweep up the windshield, creating droplets that fussed around like constellations in the night time sky. This mesmerizing display enraptured us for the majority of the ride until we arrived at Goasis, or in Lizzy’s terms “A super gas station…with fudge.” After the luxurious pit stop, Lizzy broke out the biscotti, the Burl’s choice of car ride snack. After consuming the tantalizingly tasty biscotti, we arrived at OSU, where Lizzy and I played the roles of art critics as we wondered the student union. To get to the point, let’s just say that art isn’t the same as I thought it was.

 Next it was lunch time. After the whole gang was seated and picked out their various entrees, the waiter came to take our orders. Mrs. Burl, who ordered first, fell into a trap that many food connoisseurs fall into: memory loss. In her attempt to order a garden salad, she inadvertently ordered a Caesar salad…with Italian dressing on the side. The patient waiter paused for a moment, possibly attempting to rephrase the incorrect sounding words in his brain, and then cautiously questioned, “So you want a Caeser salad…do you want Caeser on the side?” To which Mrs. Burl responded, “No, I want a Caeser salad with Italian on the side.” She eventually got her desired salad and dressing, and for desert ordered a “banana slit.” The tolerant waiter inquired, “You mean a banana split.” Mrs. Burl flushed with embarrassment and concluded that, yes, it was the banana split that she in fact wanted.

 Now, our goal was to arrive at the gymnastics meet at 1:30, so as not to miss our teammate compete. However, in a typical late lunch haze, Mrs. Burl forgot where she and her husband had parked the car in the car garage. This resulted in a scavenger hunt for the minivan, which involved a frantic Lizzy thundering around from floor to floor in a desperate search. After fifteen minutes of intense searching, we identified the car and sped off with the hope of still making the meet on time. After communicating our teammates estimated time of vault, the GPS calculated an estimated time of arrival. The same time. Mrs. Burl anxiously hurried through the streets of a rural Columbus town while Lizzy and I hyperventilated in the backseat. When we arrived at the school, Lizzy and I sprinted faster than imaginable into the school, making complete fools of ourselves, and squealing to a halt at the front table to buy our tickets. In the process of obtaining tickets, our teammate’s boyfriend along with a group of his friends walked by and sincerely remarked, “You guys just missed her!” With a simultaneous jaw dropping mixed with disappointment, Lizzy and I turned back towards the door, only to hear, “Just kidding!” In the end, Lizzy and I had to wait another hour and a half to see our teammate compete, and it was definitely worth it. So is road tripping with the Burls.  

Searching Struggles

Every week I find myself pathetically staring at a blank Microsoft word document that in turn mockingly glares back at me. As I stare, I rack my brain for this week’s blog idea. Of course I need to try to be witty or funny or sincerely intelligent to honor the “AP English 12” part of my blog title. However, every week I struggle to come up with appropriate, engaging blog topics. Yes, my life is that boring. This week, however, I decided I would try to Google words in order to come up with a blog topic. Instead, I found a slew of humorous phrases that come up when googling certain words. Here are a few of the humorous ones topics that came up:

If you google :                     You might get: 

How Come                           My dog don’t bark

                                             My feet are always cold

                                             My turtle won’t eat

How to hop                           A train

                                             A fence

Why is                                  The ocean salty

                                             Kelly Ripa on crutches

Why is it that                       A cat accidently falls from the top

                                             The general public considers bribery to be immoral

                                             Men are responsible for the gender of their children

Why do                                Dogs eat poop

I’m scared of                       Driving

When do                              Babies roll over

My dog is                             Always licking me

My cat is                              Sneezing

My hamster                         Is fat

One time I                           Nibbled on a piece of cheese

                                            Saw Cady Heron

If my mom                           Were a platypus

White people                       Rapping poorly

What would happen if         A lake froze from the bottom to the top

When I smile                       My eyes squint

When I sing                         I sound like a kid

Certainly all of these questions are constantly on the mind of the American public, however, they did not provide me with a witty, funny, or intelligent blog. Better luck next week I suppose.